After moving to a plant-based diet a number of years ago, I was thrilled to discover one particularly happy side-effect: the near elimination of my lifelong migraines.
But near elimination is not total elimination, and this week a migraine stopped by for a visit.
Migraines suck. (Poetic, I know.) So do many other things in life, some more, some less. If my experience with migraines has a silver lining, it's that it puts me in kinship with these ‘many other things.’ When I do have one, it renews my patience with others. I remember to assume everyone has something painful (and, perhaps, invisible) they’re carrying, too.
And the migraines put on one hell of a light show, so there’s that.
This week’s migraine reminded me of this poem, which explores what it means to be isolated with something painful, out beyond the boundaries of language:
Migraine With Aura
Yes, the pain — the hot nail hammer to the skull, the fall forever vertigo. But also — my bespoke kaleidoscope my silent fireworks my private, scintillating field of diamonds. I cannot describe it. I cannot show it to you. I cannot share with you this searing, otherworldly light that shines from nowhere on nothing for no one but me.
Thanks for reading,
~ A
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I feel weird calling a poem about migraines gorgeous, but it is. I’m sorry you experience them, though.
Oh, Adam, I'm sorry about the migraine. They suck. But your poem does such a great job of describing that sense of a private light show you could never really describe to someone else. I had my first migraine in several years just a few weeks ago. It wasn't a "bad one." (I mean, they're all bad, but it didn't give me that lingering feeling of having shed IQ points for days, and it resolved pretty quickly.) I think, for me, being mostly done with migraines is one of the few silver linings of menopause. So I can't wish you that particular benefit, but I'm glad a diet shift has helped. And the aura! So weird, and yes, as you say, kind of beautiful/interesting if you weren't already in pain. I get these sparkly slashes in my vision, like psychedelic jet trails. When I feel something weird happening I always close my eyes to check if I can see anything strange against the blackness of my eyelids. That's how I always know for sure. Hope you're feeling okay now.