Autumn

Poem No. 190

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This post originally went out to my subscribers as a roll-up of the seven poems I wrote for week one of the 2024 February Poetry Adventure. On reflection, I was unhappy with that version — it was long and not in keeping with the spirit of this newsletter, where I try to share and comment briefly on a single poem every Friday.

But we grow as we go, yes? So let’s just call that first version the “Collector’s Edition,” and assume one day it will be worth millions on Antiques Roadshow. What follows is a more focused version I’m much happier with.

Thanks for your patience and support as I figure out this whole poetry newsletter thing. 🙏

~ A

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This past Wednesday was the end of the first week of the 2024 February Poetry Adventure. (So much fun!) I wrote and shared a poem each day on Substack Notes and Instagram.

Here is the poem I was happiest with this week, from day 6, where the prompt was ‘evergreen’:

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Autumn

Sleep now, gentle trees,
and drop the burden of your leaves —
you have done well
the sacred work of summer.

Let the sentinels among you
take up their holy task —
the juniper and hemlock,
the spruce and fragrant pine.

They will guard the verdant flame
and keep it safe against the dark.
They will help you reignite
your branches in the spring.

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I don’t really ‘write’ poems so much as garden them — pruning, grafting, and weeding over time. (I wrote recently about one word that took me two years to edit, and also about a poem that needed ten years of musing before it could be written down at all.)

The first, hesitant draft of a poem will often be very different from any version I make public, and there may be dozens of drafts between. And even after being made public, they will live on in the garden of my journal, continuing to grow and blossom.

The February Poetry Adventure is a bit different, where I write and share poems the same day. But even this poem has already changed a little, since I first posted it just a few days ago.

Poetry Nerd Time!!!

The first public draft had this couplet…

• “the ponderosa and the hemlock, the spruce and fragrant juniper”

… which has evolved into this:

• “the juniper and hemlock, the spruce and fragrant pine”

If we use the dash symbol for unstressed syllables (‘-’) and the slash symbol for stressed ones (‘/’), you can see the evolution of the couplet:

Version 1:
the PON-der-O-sa and the HEM-lock, the SPRUCE and fra-grant JUN-i-per
-/-/---/-, -/---/--

Version 2:
the JUN-i-per and HEM-lock, the SPRUCE and fra-grant PINE
-/---/-, -/---/

There’s more symmetry in the second version — the two halves of the couplet are identically stressed, with the second portion just one syllable shorter. If you read the two versions aloud, you might hear how the first version tangles the tongue a little, refusing to flow, while the second moves better and feels more lyrical. Sometimes a little resistance is good in a line of poetry, but here, at least for now, the second version feels more peaceful to me.

Here’s an image of the poem, if you’d like to share it on social media:

If you’re curious about the other poems I wrote this week, you can find a roll-up here.

It’s Not Too Late!!!

If any of the this Poetry Adventure stuff tugs at the poet in your soul, please join us! You can pop in and out, write a single poem, write every day and share, or write a thousand poems and keep them private. It’s a very friendly group. Visit Petra’s welcome article for more info.

Okay! Thanks for reading my ramblings. Chat again soon,
~ A

P.S. — If you’re curious about the other wonderful poets sharing their Poetry Adventure work here on Substack, participants have been posting to Petra’s daily prompt Notes. (That link is to Day One, a good place to start 🙂.)

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