Be Kind

Poem No. 189

I was once terrified of spiders. Moving to a town that is apparently some sort of spider Coachella was an unsettling experience.

But I also live with the kindest person I have ever met, one who feels an almost instant affinity with any living thing. So ours is a household with a dedicated spider jar waiting on the counter, and — unless the spider on the wall is clearly one of two local species dangerous to clumsy mammals — friendly spiders are gently caught and deposited safely to the garden or, in winter, a quiet corner of the garage.

I’ve learned many lessons from our spider jar. For instance, jumping spiders are absolutely awesome. They look like tiny, fuzzy, cute, sci-fi mechwarrior robots. They are intelligent hunters who will patiently stalk their prey before closing with stunning speed. And if one takes up residence in a forgotten pill box on your desk, they will return every day to hang out between hunting excursions, watching you with open curiosity. (You can name them Pepcid. They won’t mind.) We don’t even bother catching jumping spiders anymore. They are fully welcome to wander our shared home.

And those spiders dangerous to clumsy mammals? Turns out many of the friendly spiders are dangerous to the dangerous ones. Now all we see are friendly spider, on patrol, guarding their clumsy mammal charges.

This past week I caught a big scary spider in the corner, one I’d never seen before, one I would have crushed immediately in the past. But once safely in the clear spider jar, I discovered it wasn’t a spider at all. It was a rather majestic, gentle, lumbering beetle. One I felt an instant affinity with.

A couple of decades living with my kind human has changed me, in the best way I can imagine. So has her spider jar.

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Be kind as you can
to the little lives
woven with your own —

the gentle mouse in the woodshed,
the sturdy ant on the lawn chair,
the patient spider at the windowpane.

Try to remember
their joy at discovering
such an inviting home.

Try to understand
their horror at finding it
infested with humans.

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Thanks for reading,
~ A

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